Overcoming Mom Guilt

Mom guilt has been on my mind lately and something I’ve personally have needed to work on. I felt that I needed to write this post not only for myself as a good reminder, but maybe for someone who is struggling with it too.
I feel that with each new season we go through as moms, we shouldn’t feel guilty but we do. I know the discipline is good when done in a healthy way, but there are moments when it’s a struggle and as mom you just loose your ish. Then you feel guilty for loosing your ish but it seems to be this big crazy cycle that makes your brain explode.
I feel guilty when I feel that I am giving one child more attention than the other. Or when chaos strikes and one spills milk over the counter and another child makes a big water explosion happen out of the refrigerator simultaneously.
Or the time comes for your child to start kindergarten and you want the other to attend preschool and your options are all day preschool and your a at home working mom… guilt of leaving your child all day when you feel like he should be home with you but you know he needs this in his life.
You get the picture… mom guilt. We all have experienced it and today I needed the gentle reminder of ways to get over mom guilt because we just need to get over it and perhaps it will be a great reminder for you too.
  • Motherhood doesn’t have to be perfect. Set aside the idea that you need to be a perfect mom like Insta tells you to be. Realize there are messes and dirty bathrooms (you understand if you have boys) at all times.
  • Set aside time to connect with the kids unplugged. Play a game of Uno or Guess Who? Do some sensory activities. Snuggle on the couch. Go to the park. These are a few of our favorites.
  • Individual time with each child. I’ve been doing date night once a month with my oldest (6 years old) and he loves the one on one attention. It makes him feel loved and that he matters. He’s one that needs to have attention to feel loved. He’s my mom guilt extraordinaire because I don’t give him attention all day long. I tell him it’s okay to be bored or to play with your brother. Having one on one time every so often is a wonderful thing to have to let your child know you do love them.
  • Set aside time for yourself too! This is so important! Having time to yourself is essential to being a mom wether it is waking up early to have that time to focus and reflect on you, going for a walk or run, going to Target without the kids, having an exercise routine, or taking a bath before bed. It is true if you take time out for you it will pour out into all areas of your life!
  • Have grace with yourself. Motherhood is the hardest but most beautiful blessing.
Know that you are not alone. Mom guilt is total unnecessary. Let’s challenge each other to work on it this next week see what happens.
Feel free to contact me with how your week goes!
Be awesome,
Amber

Ways to Become Self Aware to Achieve Your Goals

One thing I have learned through my journey wether it be motherhood, my health and fitness journey or learning to navigate myself through anxiety, the first step that has helped me through is being self aware. Being self aware is the idea that we have self control of our behaviors. We are able to take a look and evaluate ourselves.
So why is it important? Being self aware can help you control your thoughts, feelings, and attitudes. I have found that being self aware is essential and can help you have success in motherhood, leadership skills, establishing good healthy lifestyle habits or whatever path you may be on right now in your current season.
Through the process of being self aware it has help me to overcome negative thinking and propel myself forward in the growth process. I’ve been able to come to know myself just a little more and why I am the way I am. It’s helped to understand others.
Ways that have helped me to become more self aware with myself and have helped me to make better habits:

Personality tests- I know this may sound silly but really they help! I have taken the Enneogram test that is really hot right now amongst all the personal growth community. It’s a priest accurate test. It’s divided into types and my top two are type 4 and type 3. Type fours are authentic, expressive and creative individuals but can be can get depressed easily. Type threes are leaders, motivators, and goal oriented but can be total work alcoholics. Knowing my type called me too see my many strengths, but to realize me weaknesses so I can better work at them.

Journaling- journaling is a great way to connect with your thoughts. To get thought out on paper wether they be positive or even negative. It helps you to understand what you are thinking. Writing gratitudes or even writing down our current struggles has been proven to increase our happiness levels.

Daily self reflection- when you look in the mirror what do see? Look in the mirror everyday and compliment yourself on something… doesn’t matter what it is. Tell yourself something positive like your confident or beautiful. It sounds weird and maybe narcissistic to some, but the truth giving yourself that positive affirmation everyday gives your brain a confidence boost!

Ask questions- ask yourself honest questions like “how can I improve today?”, “how can I serve?” These can be great journal prompts to do before you start your day.

Write down your goals and track your progress- tracking yourself will help you see how far you have come.

Becoming self aware is a process but taking consistent action everyday will give you opportunity to really become aware of how you feel even in moments that you feel anxious and overwhelmed.
I challenge you to try these 5 steps this week and see how you feel!
Be Awesome,
Amber