Overcoming Mom Guilt

Mom guilt has been on my mind lately and something I’ve personally have needed to work on. I felt that I needed to write this post not only for myself as a good reminder, but maybe for someone who is struggling with it too.
I feel that with each new season we go through as moms, we shouldn’t feel guilty but we do. I know the discipline is good when done in a healthy way, but there are moments when it’s a struggle and as mom you just loose your ish. Then you feel guilty for loosing your ish but it seems to be this big crazy cycle that makes your brain explode.
I feel guilty when I feel that I am giving one child more attention than the other. Or when chaos strikes and one spills milk over the counter and another child makes a big water explosion happen out of the refrigerator simultaneously.
Or the time comes for your child to start kindergarten and you want the other to attend preschool and your options are all day preschool and your a at home working mom… guilt of leaving your child all day when you feel like he should be home with you but you know he needs this in his life.
You get the picture… mom guilt. We all have experienced it and today I needed the gentle reminder of ways to get over mom guilt because we just need to get over it and perhaps it will be a great reminder for you too.
  • Motherhood doesn’t have to be perfect. Set aside the idea that you need to be a perfect mom like Insta tells you to be. Realize there are messes and dirty bathrooms (you understand if you have boys) at all times.
  • Set aside time to connect with the kids unplugged. Play a game of Uno or Guess Who? Do some sensory activities. Snuggle on the couch. Go to the park. These are a few of our favorites.
  • Individual time with each child. I’ve been doing date night once a month with my oldest (6 years old) and he loves the one on one attention. It makes him feel loved and that he matters. He’s one that needs to have attention to feel loved. He’s my mom guilt extraordinaire because I don’t give him attention all day long. I tell him it’s okay to be bored or to play with your brother. Having one on one time every so often is a wonderful thing to have to let your child know you do love them.
  • Set aside time for yourself too! This is so important! Having time to yourself is essential to being a mom wether it is waking up early to have that time to focus and reflect on you, going for a walk or run, going to Target without the kids, having an exercise routine, or taking a bath before bed. It is true if you take time out for you it will pour out into all areas of your life!
  • Have grace with yourself. Motherhood is the hardest but most beautiful blessing.
Know that you are not alone. Mom guilt is total unnecessary. Let’s challenge each other to work on it this next week see what happens.
Feel free to contact me with how your week goes!
Be awesome,
Amber

Stop comparing yourself to others: own your story

It’s hard not to compare yourself to the person next to in our social media world. Everyone telling their stories on how they are surviving is thing we call life.
I’ll be honest, I am guilty of this. I think we all at some point in our lives start to feel overwhelm and insignificant at some point especially in what we have to offer in this world. We all are trying to make it, but there is always going to be someone whose better.
But we all have a purpose given to us. You may not think your story is as heart wrenching as some, but your story can be impactful to someone out in the world. There’s always going to be someone out there who can relate to you, that you will impact through your story.
So stop comparing yourself to others. Your story matters. Your purpose matters.
I’ve been thinking about my story as I had to overcome childhood divorce twice, overcoming childhood trauma and negativity, my best friend being killed in a car accident at the age of 16, overcoming depression and anxiety, almost dying with my first pregnancy all the while fighting for my health to combat becoming a type 2 diabetic. Through all this, I’ve lost my sense of self somewhere along the way. I’ve felt loneliness. I’ve felt pain. But through this I’ve lost my sense of worth and confidence in myself that of course leads to comparison. Because this was all I knew all my life. I’ve had to learn what self love was on my own with a close people that have been there supporting me along my journey. Through these trials, I have learned to come out stronger and be an exceptional wife and mom because of it.  I have learned tenacity and what it takes to take everyday and push myself further out of my comfort zone.
You have two choices when you wake up to live the day or be miserable. You can choose to live your life or go down the rabbit hole of comparison. It is true when they say comparison is the thief of joy.
Your story matters maybe you are reading this and have experienced relatable experiences. Just stop comparing your story!
I always need some reminders throughout the day to remind myself to stop comparing. Here are a few things that I do to remind myself when I start to get into the rabbit whole of comparison

1. Gratitude: being grateful for the life we have. In reality the people we are comparing ourselves to we may want something they have like talent but actually not really want the struggles they are going through. Being grateful for them showing you what your grateful for in your own life.

2. Focus on your strengths: focus on your own strengths and all the things you are capable of. Your strengths were given to YOU. Use them to serve others.

3. Be okay with being imperfect.

4. Have an abundant mindset!  Know there is plenty to go around.  Abundance is not limited to just certain people. You are worth of all life’s greatest blessings!

5. Have grace with yourself.  Know that you matter and that your story and purpose matter.

Remember comparison if the thief of joy. It Leads you down a lonely and dreary path.  Look at all that you are capable and give yourself a high five today for all that you have accomplished and how far you have come!

Be awesome,

Amber