Stop comparing yourself to others: own your story

It’s hard not to compare yourself to the person next to in our social media world. Everyone telling their stories on how they are surviving is thing we call life.
I’ll be honest, I am guilty of this. I think we all at some point in our lives start to feel overwhelm and insignificant at some point especially in what we have to offer in this world. We all are trying to make it, but there is always going to be someone whose better.
But we all have a purpose given to us. You may not think your story is as heart wrenching as some, but your story can be impactful to someone out in the world. There’s always going to be someone out there who can relate to you, that you will impact through your story.
So stop comparing yourself to others. Your story matters. Your purpose matters.
I’ve been thinking about my story as I had to overcome childhood divorce twice, overcoming childhood trauma and negativity, my best friend being killed in a car accident at the age of 16, overcoming depression and anxiety, almost dying with my first pregnancy all the while fighting for my health to combat becoming a type 2 diabetic. Through all this, I’ve lost my sense of self somewhere along the way. I’ve felt loneliness. I’ve felt pain. But through this I’ve lost my sense of worth and confidence in myself that of course leads to comparison. Because this was all I knew all my life. I’ve had to learn what self love was on my own with a close people that have been there supporting me along my journey. Through these trials, I have learned to come out stronger and be an exceptional wife and mom because of it.  I have learned tenacity and what it takes to take everyday and push myself further out of my comfort zone.
You have two choices when you wake up to live the day or be miserable. You can choose to live your life or go down the rabbit hole of comparison. It is true when they say comparison is the thief of joy.
Your story matters maybe you are reading this and have experienced relatable experiences. Just stop comparing your story!
I always need some reminders throughout the day to remind myself to stop comparing. Here are a few things that I do to remind myself when I start to get into the rabbit whole of comparison

1. Gratitude: being grateful for the life we have. In reality the people we are comparing ourselves to we may want something they have like talent but actually not really want the struggles they are going through. Being grateful for them showing you what your grateful for in your own life.

2. Focus on your strengths: focus on your own strengths and all the things you are capable of. Your strengths were given to YOU. Use them to serve others.

3. Be okay with being imperfect.

4. Have an abundant mindset!  Know there is plenty to go around.  Abundance is not limited to just certain people. You are worth of all life’s greatest blessings!

5. Have grace with yourself.  Know that you matter and that your story and purpose matter.

Remember comparison if the thief of joy. It Leads you down a lonely and dreary path.  Look at all that you are capable and give yourself a high five today for all that you have accomplished and how far you have come!

Be awesome,

Amber

How to Believe in Your Dreams Even When the Tough Gets Tough

There’s been many times I’ve given up on myself because life just got hard and I think to myself what’s the point? I got comfortable in that mindset, but in actuality it was the loneliest place to be when you see others  moving forward at a pace of the speed of light and you are just sitting there wondering what’s wrong with me?! I have learned it’s all up to me. If I want to be that lonely person sitting there wondering why then that’s where I will be. But I realized when I take responsibility for what happens to me then that’s when I started to fly.
You see it’s all about your thoughts. If you decide when life gets tough and your going to give up well… your not going to go very far with your dreams. But if you have a grateful, positive attitude, then you’ll go far. I was told that you can have a big dream in life, something that you truly want to achieve, but the most important  thing of the whole journey isn’t about getting there but who you become along the way.
I have dreams and to be honest I was that person that would wonder why things seemed to go so slow for me and feel like I wasn’t going anywhere. I look at it now that it was a way for me  to take a closer look at myself in the mirror and see who I truly am and what my purpose is. I may not be where I thought I would be, but I’m certainly a different person than I was a year ago. I was quiet, timid, and afraid to show up as who I really was because what others would think your maybe I wasn’t good enough BUT I wanted to go after my dreams and it has required me to get out there and do hard things if I wanted to get to my dreams.  Being vulnerable and showing up everyday is hard but I believe in the process.  Writing this blog post makes me wonder how many people will actually read it, but the truth is, its my journey of how I am becoming each day.  If one person reads this and helps them, then my heart is happy.
Times will get tough and you will fail but look at it as a blessing that it’s getting you one step closer to your dream so keep going! What’s the worst that can happen your still in the same place but maybe you learn a thing or two along the way or become a completely different person.  I hated the word fail because it made me think in a bad way that I wasn’t good enough.  But failure is part of the process and being grateful for set backs because failure is getting you on the right path.  Look at failure as a friend not as an enemy!
How can you keep believing in your dreams even when life gets tough?
  • Take responsibility of yourself and own it. Blaming others for where you are at isn’t going to get you anywhere. Just simple own those things and take responsibility to move you forward. This includes your thoughts too! Stay positive.
  • Know that your changing along the way. Even though it may seem you are going no where, I promise you are so you keep going and moving forward. There are changes happening.
  • Understand that failure is all apart of achieving your dreams because failure makes you stronger and realize what you can do better. Failure is your friend!
Keep believing in yourself and your dream you have set for yourself. I know it can be easier to set that dream aside when things get tough, but that’s when you need your dream more to fuel your fire to keep going.
Be Awesome,
Amber