Blog: Lifestyle

Life is Beautiful. I love serving the world by capturing beautiful family memories, encouraging others to believe in life’s greatest possibilities, and inspiring others to realize their full potential. Everyone has a story... make it a beautiful one.  

Overcoming Mom Guilt

Mom guilt has been on my mind lately and something I’ve personally have needed to work on. I felt that I needed to write this post not only for myself as a good reminder, but maybe for someone who is struggling with it too.
I feel that with each new season we go through as moms, we shouldn’t feel guilty but we do. I know the discipline is good when done in a healthy way, but there are moments when it’s a struggle and as mom you just loose your ish. Then you feel guilty for loosing your ish but it seems to be this big crazy cycle that makes your brain explode.
I feel guilty when I feel that I am giving one child more attention than the other. Or when chaos strikes and one spills milk over the counter and another child makes a big water explosion happen out of the refrigerator simultaneously.
Or the time comes for your child to start kindergarten and you want the other to attend preschool and your options are all day preschool and your a at home working mom… guilt of leaving your child all day when you feel like he should be home with you but you know he needs this in his life.
You get the picture… mom guilt. We all have experienced it and today I needed the gentle reminder of ways to get over mom guilt because we just need to get over it and perhaps it will be a great reminder for you too.
  • Motherhood doesn’t have to be perfect. Set aside the idea that you need to be a perfect mom like Insta tells you to be. Realize there are messes and dirty bathrooms (you understand if you have boys) at all times.
  • Set aside time to connect with the kids unplugged. Play a game of Uno or Guess Who? Do some sensory activities. Snuggle on the couch. Go to the park. These are a few of our favorites.
  • Individual time with each child. I’ve been doing date night once a month with my oldest (6 years old) and he loves the one on one attention. It makes him feel loved and that he matters. He’s one that needs to have attention to feel loved. He’s my mom guilt extraordinaire because I don’t give him attention all day long. I tell him it’s okay to be bored or to play with your brother. Having one on one time every so often is a wonderful thing to have to let your child know you do love them.
  • Set aside time for yourself too! This is so important! Having time to yourself is essential to being a mom wether it is waking up early to have that time to focus and reflect on you, going for a walk or run, going to Target without the kids, having an exercise routine, or taking a bath before bed. It is true if you take time out for you it will pour out into all areas of your life!
  • Have grace with yourself. Motherhood is the hardest but most beautiful blessing.
Know that you are not alone. Mom guilt is total unnecessary. Let’s challenge each other to work on it this next week see what happens.
Feel free to contact me with how your week goes!
Be awesome,
Amber

Stop comparing yourself to others: own your story

It’s hard not to compare yourself to the person next to in our social media world. Everyone telling their stories on how they are surviving is thing we call life.
I’ll be honest, I am guilty of this. I think we all at some point in our lives start to feel overwhelm and insignificant at some point especially in what we have to offer in this world. We all are trying to make it, but there is always going to be someone whose better.
But we all have a purpose given to us. You may not think your story is as heart wrenching as some, but your story can be impactful to someone out in the world. There’s always going to be someone out there who can relate to you, that you will impact through your story.
So stop comparing yourself to others. Your story matters. Your purpose matters.
I’ve been thinking about my story as I had to overcome childhood divorce twice, overcoming childhood trauma and negativity, my best friend being killed in a car accident at the age of 16, overcoming depression and anxiety, almost dying with my first pregnancy all the while fighting for my health to combat becoming a type 2 diabetic. Through all this, I’ve lost my sense of self somewhere along the way. I’ve felt loneliness. I’ve felt pain. But through this I’ve lost my sense of worth and confidence in myself that of course leads to comparison. Because this was all I knew all my life. I’ve had to learn what self love was on my own with a close people that have been there supporting me along my journey. Through these trials, I have learned to come out stronger and be an exceptional wife and mom because of it.  I have learned tenacity and what it takes to take everyday and push myself further out of my comfort zone.
You have two choices when you wake up to live the day or be miserable. You can choose to live your life or go down the rabbit hole of comparison. It is true when they say comparison is the thief of joy.
Your story matters maybe you are reading this and have experienced relatable experiences. Just stop comparing your story!
I always need some reminders throughout the day to remind myself to stop comparing. Here are a few things that I do to remind myself when I start to get into the rabbit whole of comparison

1. Gratitude: being grateful for the life we have. In reality the people we are comparing ourselves to we may want something they have like talent but actually not really want the struggles they are going through. Being grateful for them showing you what your grateful for in your own life.

2. Focus on your strengths: focus on your own strengths and all the things you are capable of. Your strengths were given to YOU. Use them to serve others.

3. Be okay with being imperfect.

4. Have an abundant mindset!  Know there is plenty to go around.  Abundance is not limited to just certain people. You are worth of all life’s greatest blessings!

5. Have grace with yourself.  Know that you matter and that your story and purpose matter.

Remember comparison if the thief of joy. It Leads you down a lonely and dreary path.  Look at all that you are capable and give yourself a high five today for all that you have accomplished and how far you have come!

Be awesome,

Amber

How to Believe in Your Dreams Even When the Tough Gets Tough

There’s been many times I’ve given up on myself because life just got hard and I think to myself what’s the point? I got comfortable in that mindset, but in actuality it was the loneliest place to be when you see others  moving forward at a pace of the speed of light and you are just sitting there wondering what’s wrong with me?! I have learned it’s all up to me. If I want to be that lonely person sitting there wondering why then that’s where I will be. But I realized when I take responsibility for what happens to me then that’s when I started to fly.
You see it’s all about your thoughts. If you decide when life gets tough and your going to give up well… your not going to go very far with your dreams. But if you have a grateful, positive attitude, then you’ll go far. I was told that you can have a big dream in life, something that you truly want to achieve, but the most important  thing of the whole journey isn’t about getting there but who you become along the way.
I have dreams and to be honest I was that person that would wonder why things seemed to go so slow for me and feel like I wasn’t going anywhere. I look at it now that it was a way for me  to take a closer look at myself in the mirror and see who I truly am and what my purpose is. I may not be where I thought I would be, but I’m certainly a different person than I was a year ago. I was quiet, timid, and afraid to show up as who I really was because what others would think your maybe I wasn’t good enough BUT I wanted to go after my dreams and it has required me to get out there and do hard things if I wanted to get to my dreams.  Being vulnerable and showing up everyday is hard but I believe in the process.  Writing this blog post makes me wonder how many people will actually read it, but the truth is, its my journey of how I am becoming each day.  If one person reads this and helps them, then my heart is happy.
Times will get tough and you will fail but look at it as a blessing that it’s getting you one step closer to your dream so keep going! What’s the worst that can happen your still in the same place but maybe you learn a thing or two along the way or become a completely different person.  I hated the word fail because it made me think in a bad way that I wasn’t good enough.  But failure is part of the process and being grateful for set backs because failure is getting you on the right path.  Look at failure as a friend not as an enemy!
How can you keep believing in your dreams even when life gets tough?
  • Take responsibility of yourself and own it. Blaming others for where you are at isn’t going to get you anywhere. Just simple own those things and take responsibility to move you forward. This includes your thoughts too! Stay positive.
  • Know that your changing along the way. Even though it may seem you are going no where, I promise you are so you keep going and moving forward. There are changes happening.
  • Understand that failure is all apart of achieving your dreams because failure makes you stronger and realize what you can do better. Failure is your friend!
Keep believing in yourself and your dream you have set for yourself. I know it can be easier to set that dream aside when things get tough, but that’s when you need your dream more to fuel your fire to keep going.
Be Awesome,
Amber

What I Learned Through the Eyes of a Military Recruit

This past weekend I had an opportunity to attend my first military graduation. I had no idea what to expect from it. All I knew  I was going to support and cheer on my little brother. I didn’t know much about the military really, just that they are brave to put their life on the line for this country. But I had a huge realization as I hugged my brother in tears after he had graduated, that this moment was more powerful than I would have ever imagined that I was hugging more than just my brother, I was hugging a hero.  A hero the would leave a small impact in in his sisters heart.
It’s all about the breaking point. That moment that breaks you down to the point you realize you have two choices… to break through and face your fears or to keep going to down the path of no return.
The men and women who graduated alongside my brother chose to face their fears and to keep going. Imagine being stripped of your identity, with a shaved head, being yelled at because a shirt wasn’t folded properly so you have to fold that same shirt the whole entire day over and over again. Imagine being locked in a small gas chamber with several other people where you are held for a moment to experience what it is like to have tear gas on you.
Sometimes we have to break to bring ourselves up doesn’t mean we are broken, but we have to fave tough challenges in our lives to bring ourself up from where we were. That is the one powerful thing I took away from this experience. We have challenges in our life that seem hard to get through but through these moments its the choices we make to either allow it to break us more or to allow it as an opportunity to grow and to strengthen us.
I asked Luke (my brother), what was the number one thing he took from his time from boot camp and he told me that No matter how hard you get hit, there’s a way to come back. Before he left for boot camp, he told me he was nervous about running. He had been working on it but still wasn’t there yet. His first runs at boot camp weren’t up to standards. He had to complete a final run to make the pass to graduate. He shaved 4 minutes off his time! He told us stories of how he got sick and they pushed him back in ranks because of it.  But the lesson was that you will always come back from being hit hard because you find the determination to work even harder to get you even further.
Our moments of weakness are the most valuable moments of our lives. They are the moments we have to strengthen to push you further than you ever gone before. Being brought down then brought up shows you the possibilities of what can be.
Even though you may not have endured as much as military bootcamp puts you through, we all face challenges that will bring us down.  We are 100% responsible for our own life and how we endure through the hard things. we can allow them to bring us down or bring us up, the choice is yours to make.
I recall a time when I felt down like I had no other way out and I din’t know how to get out so I played the victim.  I allowed myself to be the victim that everyone else was to blame for the pain I was feeling, my parents, my husband, you get it.  It was such a lonely road to go down.  When I knew I couldn’t go any further feeling like I did, I took control.  I sought help.  I educated myself on the things that I knew that would help. I read books. Took courses, but most of all took responsibility.  I didn’t have a military person yell at me, but I had the voice inside my head telling me I needed to change.
If you feel that you are broken right now in life, your aren’t broken, know that you can face the challenge your facing as an opportunity to bring yourself back up and take responsibilty for the life you have been given!  There you will find true joy and happiness.
Be Awesome,
Amber

7 Powerful Ways to Learn to Love Your Body

There many times in my life that I look in the mirror and see the person looking back at me and endlessly nick pick everything about that person.I was ashamed of the body I had.  I was embarrassed.  I hated how clothes fit me.  I was always so overwhelmed but didn’t know what to do. I had a problem with accepting myself for I was because I never felt cute or pretty.  I felt subconscious in everything I wore.  I didn’t know how to truly  love myself or my body.  I felt that the reason I never got further in life was because I wasn’t pretty enough or skinny enough get there.  I blamed my looks for a lot of things in life.  But now I realize it was not the way I looked at all but the fact I wasn’t truly loving myself.

My journey of self love has taught me so much.  To love myself for who I truly am.  That health and fitness is a tool to become stronger and to love myself for the way I push myself with each workout.  Having love for myself has  taught me to gain real authentic confidence in myself and loving the women looking back at me everyday.  The journey hasn’t been easy and there have been many moments of weakness.  But the way I feel about who I am now is worth the tears and moments that felt like defeat.

Loving your body is a hard thing to do especially in a society that sets so many unrealistic expectations on you.  Yes I believe in the power of moving your body each day because for one I’m predisposed to diabetes, I lived with family that had weight issues and saw the effects it can have on a person, and I love the way I feel.

If you struggle with looking the mirror each day loving the person looking back at you, there is hope in finding that true love for your self. Today, I am sharing with you some ways that have helped me overcome these struggles of loving my body in my life.  Know that you are not alone in the journey of loving yourself.

These are some of the ways that have helped me to love who I am today:

  1. Stop blaming.  Stop blaming your body and others around you.  You are in control of your thoughts and actions.  If you want change then make up your mind now to change and take action.
  2. Don’t live on a comment from elementary school.  Oh my gosh.  I remember when I was literally called fat in school by a boy. I let that one comment stew for years and let it affect how I thought about myself of how fat I was for years.  Just stop letting Bobby’s comment from 6th grade bother you at the age of 34.
  3. Every body is different.  This is hard one to digest but it’s true.  Every body is different.  My body is different than the mom sitting next to me.  If you want to loose weight, then love your body that you have now.  Show it compassion.  Don’t compare it to Suzy.
  4. Look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself how incredible you are because you really are.
  5. Stop thinking you’ll be happy when…. I loose 15 ibs … hold that thought for a hot minute because it’s not going to take over night.  It’s going to take time but it will happen.  Be happy and celebrate your success along the way.
  6. Do things that make you feel exceptional.  Working out, personal growth books, self care, working in my faith all give me all the goods to make me feel alive and in love with myself.
  7. Stop comparing yourself to others and love the  the body God blesses you with!

Remember you are truly a beautiful person and compliment that person looking back at you everyday.  Go through each day with a smile on your face knowing that you are loving yourself for who who are.

Be Awesome,

Amber

If you are interested in knowing more about the tools that I have used that made my healthy mom life style easier, contact me for more information.