Self love isn’t something you have its something YOU CHOOSE. Choose love over criticism, stress, neglect, and doubt for yourself.
Have you ever gone into a fitting room excited to try on a new pair of jeans or a new shirt just to come out empty handed because of the embarrassment you feel that they didn’t fit and you don’t allow yourself to get the bigger size because all it is is a reminder to yourself that you couldn’t fit in the jeans in the first place?
This happened to me all the time and these are my true, raw confessions. I’d go into the fitting room coming out empty handed and full of embarrassment and refused to get the bigger size because I refused it. I felt so insecure and self conscious about myself growing up and even after having my kids. I remember after 3 months of having, my first son, going into the store to buy a new pair jeans because I couldn’t fit into the ones I already owned. Yes I know I just had a new baby, but as a new mom for me I was so discouraged and defeated. Or that time I had Nate, my second son, I had to find a formal dress for a Christmas party and the one I found was really gorgeous and cried because the size 6 or 8 wouldn’t zip and ended getting a 10. I wore the dress anyways, but felt so insecure in it wondering if I looked fat or unflattering in it.
I remember times I’d go into the dressing room with tears filling up my eyes because I’d try on something and it was to small. Seeing skin spill over my jeans or the shirt accentuated my rolls. I’d look in the mirror and see the person looking back at me sad, depressed, and so unsure about the person she was.
I look back at these moments in my life when I hated the person I was… Yes I hated myself… thats harsh stuff right there. But these moments filled with darkness and defeat gave me strength and hope to change my life around.
It’s not easy taking care of yourself as a mom, as a matter of fact it HARD, but I CHOOSE to do it for myself. I do it so I don’t feel the defeat or insecurities that I used to have about myself because its a lonely road to follow. I made a choice to look at myself in the mirror to love that person looking back at me unconditionally. I choose to change so that I may have the energy with my kids. I choose to change to confidently go into the fitting room and to look at that mom, wife, daughter, in the mirror who loves herself so much.
Life is HARD. Being full of insecurities is hard but so is taking care of yourself. I much rather choose the good hard to feel and be my best self no matter how hard it is. This moment in my life, I am becoming in love with this person in the mirror. It did not come over night nor was it a quick fix. She still has moments of insecurities and doubts but she knows that when they come up for her, she knows that they are just thoughts that she can change.
A dressing room is just a dressing room. It’s there to serve a purpose to help us try something on. Don’t let the dressing room define the person you are. Choose to love yourself no matter what. Choose and make up your mind right now if you feel you need to make the changes in your life… DO IT. Nothing is more beautiful than falling in love with yourself. Today, Choose to love yourself over stress, doubt or fear.