Over the weekend, I have been really diving deep into what makes me… well me. Why I have been through the struggles I went through and why I feel like I am stuck and not moving forward. It’s funny to think of how things from our past can really influence the way we think way into adulthood. The truth is its all about our perspective. We can either take those things we experienced in our life and fight for something even more awesome or we can take those things and have a pity party for the rest of our lives.
I will admit, I was the type of person to play the blame game and blame everyone else but myself on why I am not where I want to be. I’d allow people to dictate my outcomes in life from both my past and my present. I’d blame that girl for making fun of my sweater on the playground, or blame that boy that called me fat in the hall going to class. I’d blame other peoples opinions on why I couldn’t be x,y,z. I am realizing, this just isn’t the case and its not serving me anymore.
These blame games have held me back because I felt like I needed to be someone better, prettier, and full of more ego confidence we will call it. I also blamed things from my past.
The childhood drama of depression, obesity, drug abuse, and divorce, I was ingrained from a very young age that life was the way it was and to deal with it. I was told from a very young age that I’d have some of these issues because it ran in the family and boy they did hit me because that was what I was told. I struggled with weight, I struggled with depression, and I am thankful every day that I am married. I was born into these vicious cycle of being the victim.
I realized that perhaps these things happened for me. For me to use them not as excuses, but to use these things make me a stronger person. To maybe become a advocate, a voice that there is more to life than the cards we dealt with. our struggles are our strengths. They were placed in our life to learn from and see how we take it by the horns and run with it.
When something bad happens to you do you feel shame (I was wrong) or guilt (I did something wrong). I felt this for a very long time is I still do. I felt I was always in the wrong, or I did something wrong. The reason for this, growing up I had to be the achiever, I had to be perfect otherwise I got punished if I wasn’t. Now that I am adult I have the people pleaser syndrome and if I don’t achieve something big, I punish myself for it because that is all I knew how to do. It sucks. but you know what I am learning that these things are not true. It is a story i made up in my head. Today I am creating a new story for myself, changing the perspective on life that I am stronger because of the things I went through. They aren’t my excuses, they are my fuel to my fire.
When life throws you lemons, take a moment to think how is this for me and how can I have a better attitude about it. This is my Monday Motivation for you friends. As hard life gets find how its working for you not against you.